Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
