How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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