Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
