wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
