ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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