I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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