On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
