i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
