First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
