he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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