My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
