The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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