She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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