im holly from the hills drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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