My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
