Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
