Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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