You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
