he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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