would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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