I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
