Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
