Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I AM VODKA MAN
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize