so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
