she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So much rum. So many feels.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
