Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
