Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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