the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
