I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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