After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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