Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize