how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
