I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
cat food counts as protein by the way
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
