i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize