Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
