mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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