You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Small penises have feelings too.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
