Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
