Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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