no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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