Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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