I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
