Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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