**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
