marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize