You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
