rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
