I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
