i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We had to coat check the pizza.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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