i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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