Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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