i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
