I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
