I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
