Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
