SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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