Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize