Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
