Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
