Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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