He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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