did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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