Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
