We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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