if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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