Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
