You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
