I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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